I think it's time to start writing again

A friend recently asked me what had become of my bucket list blog.

"I got busy, I guess."

Busy with what?
I have been busy living. I have been busy working. I have been busy travelling.

In the year since I've last written on this blog, I've backpacked Asia, attended Electric Daisy Carnival...twice, gone to numerous concerts, made countless new friends, broken several cell phone screens...and..well, I have big news, but that'll have to wait for a future post ;) Needless to say, I've had my hands full and I'm about to embark on a huge new life-changing endeavour.

I've got backlogs of blog posts archived on my computer. And while I realize that summer has no intention of slowing down, I'm determined to inject some life back into this blog.

Be back soon. This time, I mean it.

Countdown to ... Asia!

I'm a sucker for good travel deals. And as it turns out, I came across a deal that I couldn't resist -- $760 roundtrip after tax from Toronto to Hong Kong. So naturally, what did I do? I coerced a few friends to join me on what is going to be an EPIC trip to Asia...for FIVE WEEKS.  I'll be flying out November 3rd and returning December 8th. 2 friends (including my best friend!) will be joining me for the entire 5 weeks, and 2-3 other friends will be joining us for 2-3 weeks.

We haven't planned out our itinerary yet, but the tentative plan is a 6-8 days per country, starting with Thailand for the Festival of Lights (Loi Krathong) and Yi Peng -- for the unitiated, think of the floating lantern scene from Tangled! From there, off to Cambodia, then to Vietnam. I'm torn between surfing in Bali or going to Japan. While Japan is definitely on my bucket list -- to tour and to snowboard! -- it warrants a much longer stay, and since I know I'll be going back anyways, I'm tempted to hit up a less expensive country..though Bali would hardly be much cheaper. Finally, we'll be wrapping up our trip in Hong Kong. Five weeks is both an incredibly long and short time to travel such vast countries, but I intend to make it worth my while!

This trip will be my longest trip abroad and the longest amount of time I've spent from home. I'm both anxious and excited and terrified and TOTALLY STOKED. I last went to Asia when I was 17 with my family. Due for a trip 10 years later? Sounds about right. I plan to knock off a few of my bucket list items while I'm there:

-Learn to surf (in Bali?!)
-Get my PADI in Thailand
-Jump off the Macau Tower (might need to revise this, as it is a bit pricier than I had anticipated)
-Great Wall of China (depends if I venture out of HK)

Oh, hey. Remember me?

I know I've been MIA. Life has a funny way of getting in the way, doesn't it? I wrote my "2013 Year in Review" on January 2nd but never got around to finishing it or posting it. I still intend to, but with some modifications to reflect how 2014 has been progressing. I've missed writing. I've missed having an outlet to reflect and set goals.

Some quick updates:
-I went to Whistler! (FINALLY.)
-I landed my first frontside 180 off a jump (not at Whistler)
-I cut my hair shorter than I've ever cut it before (good-bye 7 inches)

New bucket list goal:
-Take a 3-month round the world trip before I'm 30 (oh yay, a deadline!)

I promise I'll be back soon. Really, this time. I swear.

Whistler!!!

I've been toying around with the idea of going to Whistler for years now, always saying, "I'll go next year." "Next year" has come and gone at least a half dozen times, so last night, after a few weeks of planning and discussing it with some friends, we finally bought our plane tickets. 

It hardly feels real. Even just last week, I had a dream...where I got bit by a zombie and was on my deathbed...and one of my biggest regrets was not boarding at Whistler. Seriously. So now it looks like I'll be heading to the west coast in the thick of winter for 2 weeks (or 3! I haven't bought my return flight yet!) next year with a kickass crew who is bound to push me to ride harder than I've ever ridden before. I am SO STOKED. As much as I want to board in Colorado or Japan or Switzerland, there's something about riding pow in your home country that is just that much more amazing. 

Coming soon...

I just came back from Europe last week! Posts and pictures to follow =)

Acropolis, check! 

Tough Mudder Toronto 2013 Review

Sunday, May 12th.

6:00 am - Wakeup call
7:00 am - Pick up Team Cuddles
7:30 am - Depart for Barrie
10:40 am - Start of the most physically challenging event of my life

Team Cuddles -- before

I'm not sure any kind of training could have prepared me for the obstacle course event known as Tough Mudder. When we first arrived at the site and stepped out of our cars, we were struck with a blast of cold wind, which was then quickly followed by a mass of groans, "Damn, I should have worn more layers", "Shit, I wish I had bought gloves", "Fck, I'm already cold and we haven't even started." On the shuttle bus between parking lot and site, an organizer stepped on the bus and hastily explained the registration procedure and casually mentioned, "Oh, and by the way, there was snow on the mountain this morning." Of course there was.

This is the middle of the May. But nevermind that, this is Canada, and Mother Nature loves to be fickle. The weekend prior, temps had been in the high 20s. Today, the temps were hovering around zero and there were now reports of snow, rain, hail, and blistering winds. For those who did Tough Mudder on the Saturday, ya'll got nothing on us ;)

While most people did the second obstacle, diving into dumpster bins filled with ice water -- aptly named Artic Enema, I might add -- by the time the next two kilometres rolled around, what had initially seemed like a fun idea had turned potentially dangerous. At the 4km mark, I could no longer feel anything -- not my hands or my face, and perhaps most frighteningly, I couldn't feel my legs at all. We warmed up on the buses that were stationed at the rest stops and saw runner after runner load up on the buses that would return them to home base. 12 km left to go. This was the turning point for me. Either turn back now -- there was no shame in that; I value my health above all, and hypothermia was more than just a distant possibility -- or keep on going. Our team looked around at each other. Nope, not leaving anybody behind. Onwards!

The total distance was a little over 16 km with 22 obstacles. I'd be lying if I said that I did every single obstacle. I'd say you'd be hard pressed to find anybody on Sunday who did every single obstacle. Most of the Tough Mudder obstacles incorporated some hydro element, and it was just simply too cold to do all the water obstacles and keep your core warm. Additionally, as we were the last heat of the second day, and given the freezing temps, I suspect that they closed off a few obstacles early, as there were some on the map that I don't recall us even having the option of doing (i.e. Wounded Warrior Carry). As a result, I'm sure that the race was very likely less than 16 km. As we continued on the course, I noticed that most of the obstacles that involved water, especially nearing the latter half of the course, (Underwater Tunnel, Smoke Chute, Cage Crawl, to name a few) were vacant and some no longer had volunteers standing by to supervise, as if to say that they, too, had given up on these obstacles.

Tough Mudder Toronto - Spring 2013 course map

I remember trudging up an umpteenth hill and cursing myself for signing up for this. In dragon boat, when you reach the last 200 metres of a 500 metre race, you're told to "empty your tanks" -- in other words, give it all you've got. I had barely reached the halfway mark and my tank was already empty. How was I supposed to keep going another 6 km? But like many things in life, this was very much a mental game (although it didn't feel like it at the time). One step at a time. One foot in front of the other. And as Jillian Michaels loves to say, "Unless you puke, faint or die, keep going!" I'm sure she hadn't factored in hypothermia in that equation, but in any event, I wasn't ready to quit just yet. I kid you not, the one phrase I kept repeating to myself over and over again was, "You are one tough motherf*ker!" Over and over again. Until we rounded a corner and saw the finish line ahead.

I cannot express in words how happy I was to see the finish line. One last obstacle to go -- electroshock therapy! -- and we could get our orange Tough Mudder headbands and call it a day, call ourselves Tough Mudders. We regrouped. We ran as a team, Team Cuddles, through the final electroshock obstacle, 10,000 volts and all, and passed the finish line as a team. I couldn't be prouder. I was so proud of my team for sticking together, pushing each other over walls and shouting words of encouragement through the howling wind and hail. I was so proud of myself. I did it. Having never run more than 7km in a single run in my life, I just ran 16 km uphill, downhill and through mud. I have no doubt that as much as this was physical, it was mental too. Immediately after running through the last obstacle, I collapsed a few feet past the finish line. My leg cramped up so quickly and violently that I was literally cheering with my team one second and ass-on-muddy-ground the next. I guess my body had finally had enough, but only after my mind said it was okay. I did it.

Team Cuddles at the finish line

Despite not doing many of the water obstacles, I am still proud that I pushed myself through the ridiculously cold weather to complete the course with the rest of my team. Nothing else will ever seem as hard or as cold as that day. Would I do it again? I'm not sure. Perhaps not unless I get a weather guarantee of no snow. I would like to do the entirety of the course with all the obstacles. Does that mean I'll see you again at Tough Mudder Toronto in September? Maybe.

Here is the official video for Tough Mudder Toronto Spring 2013. I've gotta say, though, that most of the footage is from the Saturday, as Sunday was all snow and hail!

If you want to see want some of the footage from Sunday looked like, check this vid out, especially at the 20:50 mark and watch it for at least a minute to get a sense of the weather:

Team Cuddles -- after
WE ARE TOUGH MUDDERS!

“They take pictures of mountain climbers at the top of a mountain. They’re smiling, ecstatic, triumphant. They don’t take pictures along the way cause who wants to remember the rest of it? We push ourselves because we have to, not because we like it. The relentless climb, the pain and anguish of taking it to the next level. Nobody takes pictures of that. Nobody wants to remember. We just wanna remember the view from the top. The breathtaking moment at the edge of the world. That’s what keeps us climbing. And it’s worth the pain. That’s the crazy part. It’s worth anything.”

— Grey’s Anatomy

Am I tough enough for Tough Mudder?

I am terrified.

Actually, terrified would be an understatement.

I have Tough Mudder in two weeks. Through no fault of anybody but my own, I am grossly unprepared for what lies ahead. I am not an athlete. The furthest I've run, ever, is 7km, and that was Spartan Race last year. Even when I work out, I've never done more than 5-6 km. Tough Mudder Toronto is expected to be 16-19 km. I've done intermittent cardio training over the last few months, but nothing like the 3 months of Insanity that I did last year -- and even then, that was barely enough for Spartan Race. I've done no weight training, no incline training, no endurance training. Don't get me wrong -- I am not making excuses for my lack of preparation; I'm merely stating the facts. And no matter how much I push myself in the next two weeks, I am not ready for Tough Mudder.

Upon sharing my insecurities with others, I was asked, "Why did you even sign up for it in the first place?" First of all, I've done similar races over the last few years (Warrior Dash, Spartan Race), each with a higher difficulty level. I enjoyed them. I love getting dirty. And where else can you crawl through waist-deep mud followed by a crawl in ice water? Secondly, I wanted to push myself and do things I wouldn't "normally" do (run 15k+? Ha!). And thirdly, because I have wonderful friends who inspire me to do challenging things, who push their physical limits...so why couldn't I?

15,000 people are anticipated to participate over the two-day event, with a 30% failure rate. That's a lot of people who can't finish the race.

I am afraid of failure.

And it's not that I anticipate it. I merely fear it. Better to have a healthy sense of doubt and apprehension and emerge triumphant...right? I know half the battle is mental. But the more I talk to people and the more articles I read, the more I worry about whether I am seriously physically capable.

Is the person who quits any better than the person who didn't even try?

2012 in Review (Long overdue, I know)

2012 has been a year of self-discovery and new beginnings.

Physical challenges (Insanity, Spartan Race) have pushed me to my limit and shown me that I'm much stronger than I thought.  Sometimes sheer will is all that stands between you and success.
I've finally finishing school and working full-time has forced me to reevaluate my time management skills (not to mention my financial management skills!) and learn to balance work and a social life.

So what have I been up to?

I celebrated my quarter century in July with as many close friends as I could gather in the midst of a busy summer. I've definitely had my "quarter-life crisis" moments, but nothing too long-lasting that I can't subdue...for now.

Surrounded by my favourites

In mid-August, I flew to Calgary for a youth conference and stayed with family for a week. I hadn't visited Alberta since I turned 18, so it was lovely to meet some oh-so-adorable new cousins, catch up with old friends, and make new ones. And while I didn't get to snowboard in Banff, I did visit the mountains for some scenic pictures and short hikes. Hopefully, it won't be 7 years before I finally knock the Rockies off my to-board list.

True North strong and free..

My mom's side of the family in Calgary

The end of August culminated in the celebration of another BBH wedding, my dear friends, Jon and Flo. Lively crowd, great band, and of course, what better venue to meet lovely new people? Can't wait til the next BBH wedding! I have no doubt that 2013 (and 2014!) will be full of joyous gatherings ;)

The first night we met.
Photo cred: Derrick Francis Wong

We had to make a pyramid to make the bride and groom kiss
Photo cred: Kuba Photography

BBH crew at the BuTran wedding
Photo cred: Kuba Photography

The long-awaited proposal..Congrats, Viet & Robin!

And of course, to wrap up summer and the end of the beach volleyball season, I finally got the tattoo that I've been itching to get since I was 18. While I had wanted it for my 25th birthday, I had to wait until I was out of the sun for the season to get it. Quick and relatively painless, considering I got it on my rib cage. I'm tempted to get another one, but perhaps I'll wait another 7 years just to make sure I reaaaallly want it ;)

Honestly, it didn't really hurt, but the back of my rib was sensitive

This Too Shall Pass

In November, I flew down to Texas to celebrate my first American Thanksgiving. What a blast! I spent the first five days in Austin and Houston, and the latter 5 days in Dallas. K was a wonderful host and kept me plenty fed...I'm pretty sure I ate at least 5-6 times a day while I was in Austin/Houston. Oh, America, I heart your food trucks. I got to make up for my lack of university partying by bar hopping in Austin. What a crazy college town! When I was in Dallas, H & A took me to the gun range and I go to shoot an uzi! This wasn't on my original bucket list...but it should have been!

My very first philly cheese steak! ermagod SO good

Captain Tom's. I always stop by when I'm in Houston 

My first Vietnamese-American Thanksgiving!

Corn. In. A. Cup.
Corn + cheese + spices + butter + sour cream + hot sauce = $1.50 heaven

In America, I get to shoot an uzi.

It's no secret that I love to eat. And while I stray away from watching television too much, the one channel that I'll always watch is the Food Network. Whether it's a Friday night in or just something to run in the background while I cook myself, there is always something interesting to watch on the Food Network. It got to the point that all the episodes were starting to seem like repeats because I left the channel on so often. Then came Master Chef. While it's not a Food Network show per se (Good job, Fox), it had all the fixings of a good foodie reality show. Master Chef opened up the doors to weekly discussions between M and I about the challenges and contestants, with one contestant in particular, Christine Ha, who became our own fan favourite. You see, Christine is legally blind and yet here she was, cooking up a storm on Master Chef, impressing judges, and surprising skeptics. And, of course, the fact that she was Vietnamese was a proud bonus too. I recognized a lot of her dishes and could imagine my own kitchen here at home bustling with the energy and vibrant smells of the traditional Vietnamese dishes she made. But it wasn't just her underdog status that made me want to root for her -- it was her story:

"My mother was my cooking inspiration. She was a wonderful cook. When I was fourteen, before I'd had any interest in cooking, she passed away. She left no recipes. After I moved away for college, I had to learn to cook for myself.[...] I've since spent many hours in the kitchen using my childhood memories trying to recreate my mother's dishes."

This hit home pretty hard for me, and her words have lingered long past the ending of the show. I've never had much of a presence in the kitchen, and up until the last year, I had difficulty cooking rice with a rice cooker. (Okay, that might be a bit of an exageration, but you get my point.) I've always been fond of pasta dishes and the occasional shepherd's pie, and maybe even corn and crab soup if I was feeling particularly adventurous. I also make a full Thanksgiving and Christmas feast each year with S, so I'm not completely hopeless. But in terms of venturing into the domain of Vietnamese cooking...well, there's not much to be said there. I can eat nearly everything on a Vietnamese menu (also worth noting that it's the only Vietnamese I can read fluently) but when I move out, my new home will be sorely lacking in traditional asian cooking. So, with that in mind, I've made a conscious effort over the last couple of months to spend more time in the kitchen with my mother. I could never forgive myself if I didn't learn how to recreate (or at least write down) some of her recipes. I've always helped here and there with food prep, but never really paid attention to the actual cooking portion -- How long do I simmer this before I add this? How much fish sauce do I add? What can I use as a substitute if I don't have a this ingredient?

As a result, I've been writing everything down, almost obsessively, and in finite detail so that I won't forget a step when I try to recreate it. And chances are, it'll probably take a few tries until I perfect it myself, but at least I'll have it written down somewhere. Mom has since taught me how to make my absolutely favourite prawn dish, as well as her staple fish sauce seasoning and a few other dishes as well. Next up: pho, bun rieu and canh chua. I hope to be able to cook these dishes by the end of the year!

As an aside (actually, M lost a bet and I participated just for the fun of it), M and I attempted to 'see' through Christine's eyes by embarking on a blind baking challenge of our own...

We may have made too many peanut butter cookies...

I have no doubt that 2013 is going to be spectacular. If 2012 was the year of self-discovery and new beginnings, 2013 will be a year of transition and growth with a side of adventure. My first full year of working full-time with no schooling. This means saving, saving, saving! And also...traveling, traveling, traveling. I've got lots of places I *want* to travel to this year (Dominican, Turks & Caicos, Rome + Greece, Miami...and the list continues to grow..) but I know I have to put some priority on paying back my school debts.

Upcomings: Glass blowing! All-girls snowboarding workshop! Swedish House Mafia! Tough Mudder!

I promise my next update won't take so long =P

For what it’s worth: it’s never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the courage to start all over again.
-- F. Scott Fitzgerald

I Heart Summer

I have been meaning to write this post for a while. So much has been going on in the last couple of months that I really haven't made time to blog. I do miss it. And more often than not, if I don't write an entry as soon as I've done something, I probably never will. Or I'll end up months later, on a Friday night, sitting at my computer typing up a post. Like, say, tonight. But hey, it's been a busy summer, so I'll take whatever down time I can get.

Squeezing a water-filled glove to help with the circulation

On May 17th, I was finally able to donate blood (my hemoglobin levels were 134 this time!). The procedure was easy and took about an hour from start to finish -- normally it's shorter, but as it was my first time, they kept me back a little longer for observation post-donation. The snacks were yummy, I had good company, and I walked away super happy that I finally got to donate blood. If you can, give it a try. It's in you to give. 

“No one has ever become poor by giving.” 
― Anne Frank, diary of Anne Frank

I've reached the 56-day mark so I'll make an appointment again soon when my weight goes up. Speaking of weight...

I started Insanity  on April 16th. It's supposed to be 4 weeks training 1 week of recovery (I did 2 wks), then 4 weeks Max training. So I basically did 5-6 days of workouts for 2.5 months. Let me tell you, before April, I. Did. Not. Work. Out. I have been blessed with an awesome metabolism thus far, but I wanted to do Insanity to build up some cardio before Spartan Race. I've never been the type to stick to a dedicated workout plan, but I was determined to see Insanity through until the end, even after my workout partner quit in the first month. The first 2 weeks and the last 2 weeks were the hardest; the first 2 because I was hurting majorly and I struggled with sticking to a daily workout schedule. The last 2 weeks were hard because I was so close to race day and the videos were becoming really tedious. I'd be lying if I said I didn't slack a bit in the last 2-3 weeks.

I am happy with the results, though. I'm sure I could have gotten better results if I actually watched what I ate, but I've never been one to stick to a diet or watch what I eat. I eat what I want to eat, when I want to. Even if that means eating instant noodles at 2 a.m. That being said, I did try to limit eating out, incorporate more veggies into my diet, cut out white rice almost entirely. Here are some before and after pictures. I don't know if I'm ready for P90X yet, but my plan is to do Insanity again, or work exclusively on abs..(I've had "get a 6-pack" on my new year's resolution list since I was in high school).

"Don't be upset with the results you didn't get from the work you didn't do."

Pre-race. Still clean.

Spartans! Aroo!

 I also did Spartan Race in Toronto this year! I don't think I'll do it again next year, as I found it was more running than obstacles (as was Warrior Dash last year), but it was still muddy and fun. Poorly disorganized though, and we spent more time lining up to get our bags back than we did running the race. Oh well. And next time, I'll remember to actually train myself to run...Insanity was soooo not enough, hahaha. Watch the epic Spartan Race Toronto promo here. 

On June 12, I met up with an old friend, W, and he surprised me by taking me to Xtreme Couture for a Brazilian Jiu Jitsu class. Now, BJJ was never on my bucket list, but I had chosen "Compete, play, destroy" as our activity for the evening and I must admit that W chose quite appropriately. I'll admit that I was a bit hesitant at first. It was definitely out of my comfort zone. While the open mat class didn't offer much instruction, especially for beginners like us, I still had a fun time pushing W around and pretending like I would actually have a chance in a one-on-one situation, haha. The next morning, I woke up sore, but totally pumped. For the next few days, I spent a considerable amout of time researching MMA gyms and muay thai classes. But alas, as time went on, my fears and insecurities crept up on me and I lost whatever confidence I had garnered from being thrown into an open BJJ class. Looking at my bucket list, I realize that most of the items, with the exception of one or two (i.e. joining a paintball team) aren't really out of my comfort zone. They are all things I would be willing to do on my own. But sometimes you need that extra little push to realize what you're missing out on, and what you're really capable of. Thanks, W -- if it weren't for you, I never would have even dreamed of jumping into a BJJ class. New addition to my bucket list: Take a BJJ/Sanshou/Muay Thai class.

Not-so-little sis and I

 And a small plug for KT Tape. It. Is. Amazing. A tad expensive, considering how much I go through it (I always take it off after a day of beach volleyball because it gets so sandy and dirty), but it is single-handedly the only reason I've been able to pick up a volleyball this summer at all. Nearly every weekend since Victoria Day, I've gone to Woodbine beach to play beach volleyball. I used to hate volleyball, and I can count on one hand the number of times I've played it in the last five years, if only because I couldn't bump the ball without my wrists ballooning, or have aches in my wrists from hitting/volleying/serving the ball (though my skills, or lack thereof are another story entirely). But ever since I've started using KT Tape on my wrists, I've had no pain. I do have to get neutral colours for when I'm at work though, as bright pink doesn't exactly look very professional in the courtroom =P But I'm hoping that with constant use, it will help ease my carpal tunnel symptoms. Shopper's Drug Mart should be selling them, but I haven't had any luck so far. If you can find it in Canada, let me know!

Look at a day when you are supremely satisfied at the end. It's not a day when you lounge around doing nothing; it's when you've had everything to do, and you've done it.
Margaret Thatcher

Stepping Stones

After all those failed tests, I finally passed my 140wpm Q&A, 140 Lit and 160 Jury, which was enough for me to get my diploma in court reporting from my school. It's not enough to get a national certification, but it's enough for me to start work at the firm associated with my school. In the last two weeks, I've started working as a court reporter (albeit not realtime) in Toronto. Within a matter of days, of passing my test, I purchased my professional software, professional back-up recording devices, and my long-awaited professional stenograph machine. Though I've still got a long way to go to get to 225 words a minute, this is been a milestone that has been a long time coming. At least now I'm finally working and getting the experience I've been wanting so desperately. I haven't really celebrated yet, as I don't feel like I rightfully deserve to party until I reach 225, but I am proud of myself. So I've modified my bucket list entry a bit -- I've completed court reporting school. Next up: Realtime Court Reporter (225 wpm). Big dreams, baby steps!

I've been so busy lately -- producing transcripts is a lot harder than I thought! But it's nice to be busy again. It's nice to get a paycheque again. It's realllly nice to say "I'm finally working" hahaha. I'd be lying if I said that I have no doubts or that I don't get discouraged -- I do, absolutely. But I'm determined to see this through. I owe it to myself.

I'm hoping to pay off all my debt by the end of the year -- my parents are helping me with the capital I need to start as a freelancer. Between software and equipment, that's over 10 grand! *grimaces* So next year, I can start saving up for my own place...

Oh, and I've registered to try to donate blood again in two days. The last time I tried, my iron count was borderline low. Hopefully I can donate this time!

And as for my Project 365 ...I have been taking pictures every day (except for maybe missing 3 days since January)...I just haven't gotten around to uploading them. Sigh.

I also started doing Insanity! I'm in the middle of week 5 of 9. I'm due to finish just before Spartan Race in June! Six-pack, here I comeeee...or four-pack..or two. Although I distinctly remember that for as long as I can remember, "get a six-pack" was on my New Year's resolutions list, haha. I'll post before and after pictures when I'm done week 9 on June 17th.

Life has been good. I feel like everything is falling into place. I feel like I've sacrificed the last couple of months to get to where I am now. I have no regrets. Between the late nights studying, staying in because I quit work and have no money (ugh)...I finally feel like there's a light at the end of the tunnel.

It's not hard to decide what you want your life to be about.  What's hard is figuring out what you're willing to give up in order to do the things you really care about.
-Shauna Niequist, Bittersweet

Big Things

May has been exciting and full of big steps.

I want to write all about it but I have deadlines to meet so the update post will have to wait.

Life is changing and evolving so rapidly. I'm so excited!  ..and terrified. But excited!

High Park Cherry Blossoms...success!

Despite the clouds and drizzling weather, I was finally able to make it out to see the High Park cherry blossoms this year! We took the TTC down to High Park and spent the afternoon wandering the park. There were a lot of people around the cherry blossoms, but if you went past that and continued through the park, the crowds gradually thinned out and we were able to have a nice picnic lunch. We also managed to feed some squirrels some peanuts that some visitors had left behind.

It was nice to discover a part of Toronto I had never been to before. Definitely serves as a reminder that you don't have to look very far to find extraordinary things.

“Courage is not the towering oak that sees storms come and go; it is the fragile blossom that opens in the snow.”
 -Alice M. Swaim 

Facing Failure

There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure.
- Colin Powell

When I wrote up my bucket list, one of my goals was to graduate from court reporting school. I wrote the list a little over a year ago. I was scheduled to graduate in December 2011. It is now April 2012. People are constantly asking me when I'll be done school. I'm 3 tests away from graduating with a diploma in court reporting, but it's not quite that simple. You see, I'm done all the academics, but I need to reach certain typing speeds (on my stenograph/court reporting machine) before I can fully graduate. At a minimum, I need to pass one test each in Testimony, Literary and Jury at 140 words per minute (wpm), and one test from any category at 160 wpm. My 3 remaining tests I need to pass: Testimony and Literary at 140, and Jury at 160.

I quit my job in January so that I could focus on speedbuilding. I'm allowed to write two tests a week: one on Wednesday, on on Sunday. "Failing a test" means I wasn't able to attain the required 95% mark to pass. There are no penalties for failing. That being said, I haven't passed a test since February. It's been so frustrating, seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, but not being able to reach it. I know I'm close but every time I fail a test, it's so damn disheartening.

I had a plan. I was to write (and pass!) my Literary today, my Jury on Sunday, and since it's a special testing week next week where I'm allowed to write up to four tests, I was going to write (and pass!) my most challenging category, Testimony. And that'd be it. I'd be done. But since I didn't pass my Literary today, I'll attempt to pass my 160 Jury this Sunday, but now my four tests next week will have to be split up between Testimony and Literary. Less room for error.

So, it's not over yet. I can still reach my personal goal of passing all three tests by the end of next week. I'm fully capable of writing in the 160s-180s. It's just that when I sit down and take a test, I tend to get anxious and panic which usually results in dropped words and sloppy writing. A fellow classmate told me it's just a mental game. I know it's true. I also know it's entirely possible for me to pass my tests in the upcoming week. I won't lie; if I'm unable to meet my goals by next week, I'll be disappointed. I've been pretty bummed lately because I feel like I'm in a rut. I'm in between jobs (so I have no source of income), I'm in major debt from college and university, and I haven't been able to graduate from my program. For me, these last 3 tests mean everything to me. After I pass, my new firm will hire me as a court reporter. I'll be making money again, I can continue to build speed, and I'll be able to pay off my debt. So much is riding on these tests. I need to get past this.

In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure.
- Bill Cosby

We seem to gain wisdom more readily through our failures than through our successes. We always think of failure as the antithesis of success, but it isn't. Success often lies just the other side of failure.
- Leo F. Buscaglia 

You build on failure. You use it as a stepping stone. Close the door on the past. You don't try to forget the mistakes, but you don't dwell on it. You don't let it have any of your energy, or any of your time, or any of your space.
- Johnny Cash

Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead end.
- Denis Waitley

Cherry Blossoms, attempt 2

We've been lucky with unseasonably warm weather lately, and as a result, the cherry blossoms in High Park have begun to blossom early! (Last year, they were late, and conflicted with my trip to New York City, so I was unable to go.) I'm determined to tick this off my bucket list this time; it's been a while.... >.<"

They are at about 50-65% in certain sections, less in others, with many predicting next weekend to be peak bloom. So make a trip out -- try to take the TTC, as parking is sure to be terrible -- and enjoy our own local cherry blossoms.

Posted on the High Park Nature Centre's Facebook page today:

You could save a life

Janet Liang is 23. She's Chinese, and she needs a bone marrow transplant. She doesn't have much time left. 

Registration is quick and easy. I did it in a matter of minutes. Even if you can't help Janet, you might be a match for somebody else. After you register, within a week you should get a call confirming your interest. Then they'll send you a swab kit where you just swab the inside of your mouth. Easy peasy and it doesn't hurt! Send it back, and you'll be contacted if you are match for anybody in the network. 

Canadian Friends: Head on over to http://www.onematch.ca/ to join and become a donor

American Friends: Register online through Team Janet: http://join.bethematch.org/TeamJanet

Friends specifically in SoCal & NoCal: There are several drives taking place in the next few days, please take the time to find out your nearest location and head on over to register*:
http://www.asianmarrow.org/index.php/donor/list-of-drives (SoCal)
http://www.aadp.org/drive (NoCal)

*Registration is super quick and easy. Only requires a cheek swab + filling out a couple of forms.*

Janet's Website: http://www.helpingjanet.com/
Her blog: http://janetliang.wordpress.com/
Her FB page: https://www.facebook.com/helpingjanet


Update: In September 2012, Janet passed away after a three-year battle with leukemia. Her Facebook page posted the following:

Janet has served as an inspiration to all those who knew her. Her big heart and big smile was something that we all cherished. And although she never fulfilled her dream of being a teacher, she has taught us all one very important lesson: love. Despite battling leukemia for 3 years, she has always found it within her to make her situation more than about herself. Her campaign to raise awareness and advocate for bone marrow donors was for the love of her fellow human. She has certainly taught all of us to love one another, and live each day as if it were our last. After bravely fighting cancer for three years, she has finally found her peace.

Hello, 2012. I've been waiting for you.

It has been a few months since I've blogged. It's not for lack of time, but rather a lack of motivation.

But now, it's a new year, a chance for fresh starts. I have big plans for this year. I'm optimistic. I finished school, though I'm not certified yet because I have yet to meet the minimum speed requirements. My goal is to get the diploma within six months. It's on my bucket list after all. But at least I can say I'm done paying my college tuition! OSAP is next. On the professional front, I was recently offered the opportunity to work at the court reporting firm that I've been eyeing for the last two years! I'm starting to feel like my hard work is starting to pay off. Slowly, but surely. I know I have a looooong way to go. But it's nice to see some actual progress.

On the personal front, I've had to do a lot of soul searching lately. I'm not entirely convinced that I'm happy and I've been trying to figure out how to fill the void. I feel like life has gotten routine, almost boring. But then again, after a year of skydiving and outdoor adventures, anything else would seem boring =P I have a full season of snowboarding ahead of me, with dragon boat to look forward to in the spring. I'm trying to work out on a more regular basis, as I'm doing the Spartan Race this summer, and I'm determined to train for it, as opposed to my lackluster attempt last summer for the Warrior Dash. I'm hoping that these goals (I prefer to avoid the ever-so-popular "resolutions") can be achieved by taking baby steps and sharing the journey with others. Spartan Race, dragon boating, even snowboarding, they all involve other people. We push each other. My running mates will push me to train for the race, dragon boat is a team sport, and I'm constantly being encouraged by my friends to push myself harder when I board -- harder, faster, deeper, stronger (not just a dboat cheer!). I'm aiming for a grab with my board as early as this weekend.

I tried to cross "donating blood" off my bucket list last month, but after walking into a donor clinic without an appointment, I was turned away because they were fully booked. Lesson learned: book an appointment. So I did. I returned this week to give it another shot (no pun intended?) Unfortunately, this time, after some preliminary tests, I was told that my hemoglobin levels were too low to donate *sad face* With a level of 124, I was in the lower but still healthy range, but they needed at least 125 (I only missed by one!) to ensure that my body could afford to lose blood. That being said, I'm still determined to donate blood. I'm allowed to try again in 56 days, so I'll be eating lots of red meat and fibre and protein until then!

Another bucket list item I've been putting off until the new year: Project 365. Granted, I could have started at any time, but starting it at the beginning of a new year seemed appropriate. Follow it here: lisaproject365.tumblr.com

"...I hope you will have a wonderful year, that you'll dream dangerously and outrageously, that you'll make something that didn't exist before you made it, that you will be loved and that you will be liked, and that you will have people to love and to like in return. And, most importantly (because I think there should be more kindness and more wisdom in the world right now), that you will, when you need to be, be wise, and that you will always be kind."  --Neil Gaiman

In Memory

This isn't my story to tell.
It's not my place.

I never got to meet you. But I can feel your impact on my life just as much as if you were still here.  A year ago today, you left a gaping hole in the lives of those who loved you. It was unexpected. We never know how much time we'll have left. I'm trying my hardest to fill in the void that's left. It's hard. But not as hard as it has been for them. I'd give up anything for them to have one more day with you. They miss you.

Life is short. Live it to the fullest. Don't take it for granted. Tell the people you love that you love them.

You never know which day is your last.
Hug your children.
Hold your spouse’s hand.
Call your mother.
Simple gestures really, but I can tell you from experience that no matter how big or small the tragedy is, these simple gestures are what people in mourning want most — one more phone call, a shared laugh, a kiss on the cheek.
-LZ Granderson, "Hug your children while you can"

Rest in peace, Quoc.

It's never too early

This week, I came across an article about 17-year-old James Woodall, who died earlier this year after a cycling accident. Two months later, his parents found his bucket list hidden in a bedroom drawer. It was entitled, "Living a Full Life." He had managed to check off a few things, but for the most part, this list remained incomplete. Together, with the help of friends and other family members, his parents and sister have taken it upon themselves to complete James' bucket list for him. They include items such as living to 80, visiting every continent, and looking through a telescope at every planet. It's a touching but heart-wrenching story about a family trying to preserve their son's memory by living to the fullest.

The full article can be found HERE.

It's never too early to start a bucket list. It's been a while since I've knocked a few things off the list, mostly because my lack of funds has limited some adventures (scuba diving), and much of my time spent between work and school, although I know it's a poor excuse for putting off my bucket list.

That being said, it's been a while since I've added some items to my bucket list. Here are a few more:

-donate blood
-own a house
and, inspired by James,
-visit every continent

Without death, our lives would have no meaning.  Death frames our end for us and also puts a value on things.
—Richard J. Leider & David A. Shapiro, Claiming your Place at the Fire: Living the Second Half of Your Life on Purpose

The Art of Flight

And no, I'm not talking about planes...

September is here...which means 3 more months til snowboarding season! Financially, I won't be able to afford hitting up a "real" mountain (i.e. Colorado, B.C., Swiss Alps) this season, but this will have to tide me over for the time being. Art of Flight comes out this week. Watch in HD in full screen. Drooooool.

"We stand sideways. We sleep on floors in cramped resort hotel rooms. We get up early and go to sleep late. We've been mocked. We've been turned away from resorts that won't have us. We are relentless. We dream it, we make it, we break it, we fix it. We create. We destroy. We wreck ourselves day in and day out and yet we stomp that one trick or find that one line that keeps us coming back. We progress."  -- Burton Snowboards 

 

Summer lovin'

I'll be honest, I haven't done anything spectacular or bucket list-related lately. As much as I hate to admit it, my lack of finances has seriously hindered my ability to partake in some of my more...ambitious adventures. I've been living paycheque to paycheque for the last year and a half to pay for my ridiculously expensive private college tuition, on top of paying off my undergrad. As of this December, I'll have finished paying it all off (well, my college part anyways). Just in time to fly to Jamaica in February for a wedding. 2012 should be a much better year financially, as I hope to actually save money, instead of only paying off my loans. But for the next six months...I'm kind of screwed in the money department. Woops.

But all seriousness aside, it's not like I haven't done anything adventurous as of late!

On June 9th, I participated in Warrior Dash, "a mud-crawling, fire-leaping, extreme run from hell." Pretty much a giant obstacle course held at a ski resort. Lots of running, climbing, and getting dirty! Next year, I'm doing Spartan Race. Who's in?

Look at all the donated muddy shoes!

Yeah, I know it's epic.

Post-race

I celebrated my birthday in style -- surrounded my closest friends at Rey & Priya's wedding. It was a beautiful ceremony, and I wish them the best of  "love, laughter and happily ever after."

Veil sponsors for the Catholic ceremony

BBH boys! <3

I spent the rest of my birthday weekend at Blue Mountain and we went outdoor rock climbing -- my first time! -- and rode a jetski at Wasaga. We had even gotten tickets to ride the gondola up the mountain and ride RidgeRunner, a mini mountain coaster, but we ran out of time. Our tickets are still good for next time though!

Outdoor rock climbing was incredible.  I've got indoor rock climbing a handful of times, and I usually peak around the 5.9, 5.10 mark. We lucked out and ended up with our own private group; just the two of us plus the guide. She took us through five sites (Superman, Peanut Butter, Pickpocket...I can't remember the other 2). Everything went smoothly until the last one, Superman. It was incredibly difficult and challenging. I remember quitting halfway through my first try because I was so exhausted (meanwhile, the Mister somehow managed to conquer it on his first run). My second time, after 20+ minutes, I finally managed to climb to the top. There are no words to describe my mentality as I struggled to grasp a new ledge and push myself up, but I did swear quite profusely. If there's anything I took from that, it's that "if you want it badly enough, you can do it" is not just a cheesy cliche. I remember summoning up every..single..last..bit...of energy, and then some, to pull myself up. Definitely one of my proudest moments.

A third up the way on Superman, the hardest part

On the other side of the walls we climbed...

Financially, I'm gonna buckle down for the next few months. My funds are dangerously low...and I have a lot of expenses coming up still...so it looks like I'm gonna hang up the board for another season. An entire season, I think. *sad face* PADI certification, Camp of Champions and surf school will have to wait for another year =( I know this goes against everything my bucket list stands for, in terms of living in the moment and such...but I'd like to think I'm gonna be around for a few more years...and I've still gotta be realistic about the way I spend my money =P

The first week of August hangs at the very top of summer, the top of the live-long year, like the highest seat of a Ferris wheel when it pauses in its turning. The weeks that come before are only a climb from balmy spring, and those that follow a drop to the chill of autumn, but the first week of August is motionless, and hot. It is curiously silent, too, with blank white dawns and glaring noons, and sunsets smeared with too much color.

-Natalie Babbitt, Tuck Everlasting