Stepping Stones

After all those failed tests, I finally passed my 140wpm Q&A, 140 Lit and 160 Jury, which was enough for me to get my diploma in court reporting from my school. It's not enough to get a national certification, but it's enough for me to start work at the firm associated with my school. In the last two weeks, I've started working as a court reporter (albeit not realtime) in Toronto. Within a matter of days, of passing my test, I purchased my professional software, professional back-up recording devices, and my long-awaited professional stenograph machine. Though I've still got a long way to go to get to 225 words a minute, this is been a milestone that has been a long time coming. At least now I'm finally working and getting the experience I've been wanting so desperately. I haven't really celebrated yet, as I don't feel like I rightfully deserve to party until I reach 225, but I am proud of myself. So I've modified my bucket list entry a bit -- I've completed court reporting school. Next up: Realtime Court Reporter (225 wpm). Big dreams, baby steps!

I've been so busy lately -- producing transcripts is a lot harder than I thought! But it's nice to be busy again. It's nice to get a paycheque again. It's realllly nice to say "I'm finally working" hahaha. I'd be lying if I said that I have no doubts or that I don't get discouraged -- I do, absolutely. But I'm determined to see this through. I owe it to myself.

I'm hoping to pay off all my debt by the end of the year -- my parents are helping me with the capital I need to start as a freelancer. Between software and equipment, that's over 10 grand! *grimaces* So next year, I can start saving up for my own place...

Oh, and I've registered to try to donate blood again in two days. The last time I tried, my iron count was borderline low. Hopefully I can donate this time!

And as for my Project 365 ...I have been taking pictures every day (except for maybe missing 3 days since January)...I just haven't gotten around to uploading them. Sigh.

I also started doing Insanity! I'm in the middle of week 5 of 9. I'm due to finish just before Spartan Race in June! Six-pack, here I comeeee...or four-pack..or two. Although I distinctly remember that for as long as I can remember, "get a six-pack" was on my New Year's resolutions list, haha. I'll post before and after pictures when I'm done week 9 on June 17th.

Life has been good. I feel like everything is falling into place. I feel like I've sacrificed the last couple of months to get to where I am now. I have no regrets. Between the late nights studying, staying in because I quit work and have no money (ugh)...I finally feel like there's a light at the end of the tunnel.

It's not hard to decide what you want your life to be about.  What's hard is figuring out what you're willing to give up in order to do the things you really care about.
-Shauna Niequist, Bittersweet

Facing Failure

There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure.
- Colin Powell

When I wrote up my bucket list, one of my goals was to graduate from court reporting school. I wrote the list a little over a year ago. I was scheduled to graduate in December 2011. It is now April 2012. People are constantly asking me when I'll be done school. I'm 3 tests away from graduating with a diploma in court reporting, but it's not quite that simple. You see, I'm done all the academics, but I need to reach certain typing speeds (on my stenograph/court reporting machine) before I can fully graduate. At a minimum, I need to pass one test each in Testimony, Literary and Jury at 140 words per minute (wpm), and one test from any category at 160 wpm. My 3 remaining tests I need to pass: Testimony and Literary at 140, and Jury at 160.

I quit my job in January so that I could focus on speedbuilding. I'm allowed to write two tests a week: one on Wednesday, on on Sunday. "Failing a test" means I wasn't able to attain the required 95% mark to pass. There are no penalties for failing. That being said, I haven't passed a test since February. It's been so frustrating, seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, but not being able to reach it. I know I'm close but every time I fail a test, it's so damn disheartening.

I had a plan. I was to write (and pass!) my Literary today, my Jury on Sunday, and since it's a special testing week next week where I'm allowed to write up to four tests, I was going to write (and pass!) my most challenging category, Testimony. And that'd be it. I'd be done. But since I didn't pass my Literary today, I'll attempt to pass my 160 Jury this Sunday, but now my four tests next week will have to be split up between Testimony and Literary. Less room for error.

So, it's not over yet. I can still reach my personal goal of passing all three tests by the end of next week. I'm fully capable of writing in the 160s-180s. It's just that when I sit down and take a test, I tend to get anxious and panic which usually results in dropped words and sloppy writing. A fellow classmate told me it's just a mental game. I know it's true. I also know it's entirely possible for me to pass my tests in the upcoming week. I won't lie; if I'm unable to meet my goals by next week, I'll be disappointed. I've been pretty bummed lately because I feel like I'm in a rut. I'm in between jobs (so I have no source of income), I'm in major debt from college and university, and I haven't been able to graduate from my program. For me, these last 3 tests mean everything to me. After I pass, my new firm will hire me as a court reporter. I'll be making money again, I can continue to build speed, and I'll be able to pay off my debt. So much is riding on these tests. I need to get past this.

In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure.
- Bill Cosby

We seem to gain wisdom more readily through our failures than through our successes. We always think of failure as the antithesis of success, but it isn't. Success often lies just the other side of failure.
- Leo F. Buscaglia 

You build on failure. You use it as a stepping stone. Close the door on the past. You don't try to forget the mistakes, but you don't dwell on it. You don't let it have any of your energy, or any of your time, or any of your space.
- Johnny Cash

Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead end.
- Denis Waitley

Hello, 2012. I've been waiting for you.

It has been a few months since I've blogged. It's not for lack of time, but rather a lack of motivation.

But now, it's a new year, a chance for fresh starts. I have big plans for this year. I'm optimistic. I finished school, though I'm not certified yet because I have yet to meet the minimum speed requirements. My goal is to get the diploma within six months. It's on my bucket list after all. But at least I can say I'm done paying my college tuition! OSAP is next. On the professional front, I was recently offered the opportunity to work at the court reporting firm that I've been eyeing for the last two years! I'm starting to feel like my hard work is starting to pay off. Slowly, but surely. I know I have a looooong way to go. But it's nice to see some actual progress.

On the personal front, I've had to do a lot of soul searching lately. I'm not entirely convinced that I'm happy and I've been trying to figure out how to fill the void. I feel like life has gotten routine, almost boring. But then again, after a year of skydiving and outdoor adventures, anything else would seem boring =P I have a full season of snowboarding ahead of me, with dragon boat to look forward to in the spring. I'm trying to work out on a more regular basis, as I'm doing the Spartan Race this summer, and I'm determined to train for it, as opposed to my lackluster attempt last summer for the Warrior Dash. I'm hoping that these goals (I prefer to avoid the ever-so-popular "resolutions") can be achieved by taking baby steps and sharing the journey with others. Spartan Race, dragon boating, even snowboarding, they all involve other people. We push each other. My running mates will push me to train for the race, dragon boat is a team sport, and I'm constantly being encouraged by my friends to push myself harder when I board -- harder, faster, deeper, stronger (not just a dboat cheer!). I'm aiming for a grab with my board as early as this weekend.

I tried to cross "donating blood" off my bucket list last month, but after walking into a donor clinic without an appointment, I was turned away because they were fully booked. Lesson learned: book an appointment. So I did. I returned this week to give it another shot (no pun intended?) Unfortunately, this time, after some preliminary tests, I was told that my hemoglobin levels were too low to donate *sad face* With a level of 124, I was in the lower but still healthy range, but they needed at least 125 (I only missed by one!) to ensure that my body could afford to lose blood. That being said, I'm still determined to donate blood. I'm allowed to try again in 56 days, so I'll be eating lots of red meat and fibre and protein until then!

Another bucket list item I've been putting off until the new year: Project 365. Granted, I could have started at any time, but starting it at the beginning of a new year seemed appropriate. Follow it here: lisaproject365.tumblr.com

"...I hope you will have a wonderful year, that you'll dream dangerously and outrageously, that you'll make something that didn't exist before you made it, that you will be loved and that you will be liked, and that you will have people to love and to like in return. And, most importantly (because I think there should be more kindness and more wisdom in the world right now), that you will, when you need to be, be wise, and that you will always be kind."  --Neil Gaiman

A Good Life

There's just something about this song that never fails to pick me up. If I'm tired, frustrated or bored, I throw on "Good Life" by One Republic and by the time the chorus rolls around, I'm already bopping my head and tapping my foot.

What is a good life? I tried flipping through my old philosophy texts from my first year at university. On a rather ambitious venture, I decided to take a course entitled, "The Meaning of Life". Yeah, ambitious. In retrospect, I should have known that a single semester studying the works of Descartes and Dostoyevsky, among others, wouldn't teach me "the meaning of life." To be honest, I'm not sure if I've walked away with much from that class, apart from my first (and possibly only) A+ paper in university.

I'm not sure what constitutes a good life. "Good" is relative. I know that I have certain goals I want to achieve (be a realtime court reporter). I know the kind of person I want to strive to be (honest, inspiring, humble). I know that I want to leave some sort of legacy, even if it's only the lessons I pass on to my children ("Never waste food"). I want to be able to live my live fully, wholly, and at the end of the road, have no regrets. Then, I will have lived a good life. I need not have walked on the moon or herded elephants in Africa -- though that would be pretty cool. I want to say that I did everything I wanted to do. I suppose that's what pushes me to accomplish all the items on my bucket list. Some are ambitious (land frontside/backside 180), some are a little out of my hands and depend on others (Stanley Cup for the Leafs, anyone?), while some are downright daunting (stand on Kjeragbolten, join a paintball league). But I'm determined to do it all, hopefully sooner rather than later, but definitely by the end of the road.

"When you look back on your life, you'll regret the things you didn't do more than the ones you did."
-- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

I hope you enjoy the song as much as I do. One day, I'm gonna go to all the places that they mention in the song, and then some, and I'm gonna make my own "Good Life" video.