Facing Failure

There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure.
- Colin Powell

When I wrote up my bucket list, one of my goals was to graduate from court reporting school. I wrote the list a little over a year ago. I was scheduled to graduate in December 2011. It is now April 2012. People are constantly asking me when I'll be done school. I'm 3 tests away from graduating with a diploma in court reporting, but it's not quite that simple. You see, I'm done all the academics, but I need to reach certain typing speeds (on my stenograph/court reporting machine) before I can fully graduate. At a minimum, I need to pass one test each in Testimony, Literary and Jury at 140 words per minute (wpm), and one test from any category at 160 wpm. My 3 remaining tests I need to pass: Testimony and Literary at 140, and Jury at 160.

I quit my job in January so that I could focus on speedbuilding. I'm allowed to write two tests a week: one on Wednesday, on on Sunday. "Failing a test" means I wasn't able to attain the required 95% mark to pass. There are no penalties for failing. That being said, I haven't passed a test since February. It's been so frustrating, seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, but not being able to reach it. I know I'm close but every time I fail a test, it's so damn disheartening.

I had a plan. I was to write (and pass!) my Literary today, my Jury on Sunday, and since it's a special testing week next week where I'm allowed to write up to four tests, I was going to write (and pass!) my most challenging category, Testimony. And that'd be it. I'd be done. But since I didn't pass my Literary today, I'll attempt to pass my 160 Jury this Sunday, but now my four tests next week will have to be split up between Testimony and Literary. Less room for error.

So, it's not over yet. I can still reach my personal goal of passing all three tests by the end of next week. I'm fully capable of writing in the 160s-180s. It's just that when I sit down and take a test, I tend to get anxious and panic which usually results in dropped words and sloppy writing. A fellow classmate told me it's just a mental game. I know it's true. I also know it's entirely possible for me to pass my tests in the upcoming week. I won't lie; if I'm unable to meet my goals by next week, I'll be disappointed. I've been pretty bummed lately because I feel like I'm in a rut. I'm in between jobs (so I have no source of income), I'm in major debt from college and university, and I haven't been able to graduate from my program. For me, these last 3 tests mean everything to me. After I pass, my new firm will hire me as a court reporter. I'll be making money again, I can continue to build speed, and I'll be able to pay off my debt. So much is riding on these tests. I need to get past this.

In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure.
- Bill Cosby

We seem to gain wisdom more readily through our failures than through our successes. We always think of failure as the antithesis of success, but it isn't. Success often lies just the other side of failure.
- Leo F. Buscaglia 

You build on failure. You use it as a stepping stone. Close the door on the past. You don't try to forget the mistakes, but you don't dwell on it. You don't let it have any of your energy, or any of your time, or any of your space.
- Johnny Cash

Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead end.
- Denis Waitley

Cherry Blossoms, attempt 2

We've been lucky with unseasonably warm weather lately, and as a result, the cherry blossoms in High Park have begun to blossom early! (Last year, they were late, and conflicted with my trip to New York City, so I was unable to go.) I'm determined to tick this off my bucket list this time; it's been a while.... >.<"

They are at about 50-65% in certain sections, less in others, with many predicting next weekend to be peak bloom. So make a trip out -- try to take the TTC, as parking is sure to be terrible -- and enjoy our own local cherry blossoms.

Posted on the High Park Nature Centre's Facebook page today:

You could save a life

Janet Liang is 23. She's Chinese, and she needs a bone marrow transplant. She doesn't have much time left. 

Registration is quick and easy. I did it in a matter of minutes. Even if you can't help Janet, you might be a match for somebody else. After you register, within a week you should get a call confirming your interest. Then they'll send you a swab kit where you just swab the inside of your mouth. Easy peasy and it doesn't hurt! Send it back, and you'll be contacted if you are match for anybody in the network. 

Canadian Friends: Head on over to http://www.onematch.ca/ to join and become a donor

American Friends: Register online through Team Janet: http://join.bethematch.org/TeamJanet

Friends specifically in SoCal & NoCal: There are several drives taking place in the next few days, please take the time to find out your nearest location and head on over to register*:
http://www.asianmarrow.org/index.php/donor/list-of-drives (SoCal)
http://www.aadp.org/drive (NoCal)

*Registration is super quick and easy. Only requires a cheek swab + filling out a couple of forms.*

Janet's Website: http://www.helpingjanet.com/
Her blog: http://janetliang.wordpress.com/
Her FB page: https://www.facebook.com/helpingjanet


Update: In September 2012, Janet passed away after a three-year battle with leukemia. Her Facebook page posted the following:

Janet has served as an inspiration to all those who knew her. Her big heart and big smile was something that we all cherished. And although she never fulfilled her dream of being a teacher, she has taught us all one very important lesson: love. Despite battling leukemia for 3 years, she has always found it within her to make her situation more than about herself. Her campaign to raise awareness and advocate for bone marrow donors was for the love of her fellow human. She has certainly taught all of us to love one another, and live each day as if it were our last. After bravely fighting cancer for three years, she has finally found her peace.

Hello, 2012. I've been waiting for you.

It has been a few months since I've blogged. It's not for lack of time, but rather a lack of motivation.

But now, it's a new year, a chance for fresh starts. I have big plans for this year. I'm optimistic. I finished school, though I'm not certified yet because I have yet to meet the minimum speed requirements. My goal is to get the diploma within six months. It's on my bucket list after all. But at least I can say I'm done paying my college tuition! OSAP is next. On the professional front, I was recently offered the opportunity to work at the court reporting firm that I've been eyeing for the last two years! I'm starting to feel like my hard work is starting to pay off. Slowly, but surely. I know I have a looooong way to go. But it's nice to see some actual progress.

On the personal front, I've had to do a lot of soul searching lately. I'm not entirely convinced that I'm happy and I've been trying to figure out how to fill the void. I feel like life has gotten routine, almost boring. But then again, after a year of skydiving and outdoor adventures, anything else would seem boring =P I have a full season of snowboarding ahead of me, with dragon boat to look forward to in the spring. I'm trying to work out on a more regular basis, as I'm doing the Spartan Race this summer, and I'm determined to train for it, as opposed to my lackluster attempt last summer for the Warrior Dash. I'm hoping that these goals (I prefer to avoid the ever-so-popular "resolutions") can be achieved by taking baby steps and sharing the journey with others. Spartan Race, dragon boating, even snowboarding, they all involve other people. We push each other. My running mates will push me to train for the race, dragon boat is a team sport, and I'm constantly being encouraged by my friends to push myself harder when I board -- harder, faster, deeper, stronger (not just a dboat cheer!). I'm aiming for a grab with my board as early as this weekend.

I tried to cross "donating blood" off my bucket list last month, but after walking into a donor clinic without an appointment, I was turned away because they were fully booked. Lesson learned: book an appointment. So I did. I returned this week to give it another shot (no pun intended?) Unfortunately, this time, after some preliminary tests, I was told that my hemoglobin levels were too low to donate *sad face* With a level of 124, I was in the lower but still healthy range, but they needed at least 125 (I only missed by one!) to ensure that my body could afford to lose blood. That being said, I'm still determined to donate blood. I'm allowed to try again in 56 days, so I'll be eating lots of red meat and fibre and protein until then!

Another bucket list item I've been putting off until the new year: Project 365. Granted, I could have started at any time, but starting it at the beginning of a new year seemed appropriate. Follow it here: lisaproject365.tumblr.com

"...I hope you will have a wonderful year, that you'll dream dangerously and outrageously, that you'll make something that didn't exist before you made it, that you will be loved and that you will be liked, and that you will have people to love and to like in return. And, most importantly (because I think there should be more kindness and more wisdom in the world right now), that you will, when you need to be, be wise, and that you will always be kind."  --Neil Gaiman

In Memory

This isn't my story to tell.
It's not my place.

I never got to meet you. But I can feel your impact on my life just as much as if you were still here.  A year ago today, you left a gaping hole in the lives of those who loved you. It was unexpected. We never know how much time we'll have left. I'm trying my hardest to fill in the void that's left. It's hard. But not as hard as it has been for them. I'd give up anything for them to have one more day with you. They miss you.

Life is short. Live it to the fullest. Don't take it for granted. Tell the people you love that you love them.

You never know which day is your last.
Hug your children.
Hold your spouse’s hand.
Call your mother.
Simple gestures really, but I can tell you from experience that no matter how big or small the tragedy is, these simple gestures are what people in mourning want most — one more phone call, a shared laugh, a kiss on the cheek.
-LZ Granderson, "Hug your children while you can"

Rest in peace, Quoc.

It's never too early

This week, I came across an article about 17-year-old James Woodall, who died earlier this year after a cycling accident. Two months later, his parents found his bucket list hidden in a bedroom drawer. It was entitled, "Living a Full Life." He had managed to check off a few things, but for the most part, this list remained incomplete. Together, with the help of friends and other family members, his parents and sister have taken it upon themselves to complete James' bucket list for him. They include items such as living to 80, visiting every continent, and looking through a telescope at every planet. It's a touching but heart-wrenching story about a family trying to preserve their son's memory by living to the fullest.

The full article can be found HERE.

It's never too early to start a bucket list. It's been a while since I've knocked a few things off the list, mostly because my lack of funds has limited some adventures (scuba diving), and much of my time spent between work and school, although I know it's a poor excuse for putting off my bucket list.

That being said, it's been a while since I've added some items to my bucket list. Here are a few more:

-donate blood
-own a house
and, inspired by James,
-visit every continent

Without death, our lives would have no meaning.  Death frames our end for us and also puts a value on things.
—Richard J. Leider & David A. Shapiro, Claiming your Place at the Fire: Living the Second Half of Your Life on Purpose

The Art of Flight

And no, I'm not talking about planes...

September is here...which means 3 more months til snowboarding season! Financially, I won't be able to afford hitting up a "real" mountain (i.e. Colorado, B.C., Swiss Alps) this season, but this will have to tide me over for the time being. Art of Flight comes out this week. Watch in HD in full screen. Drooooool.

"We stand sideways. We sleep on floors in cramped resort hotel rooms. We get up early and go to sleep late. We've been mocked. We've been turned away from resorts that won't have us. We are relentless. We dream it, we make it, we break it, we fix it. We create. We destroy. We wreck ourselves day in and day out and yet we stomp that one trick or find that one line that keeps us coming back. We progress."  -- Burton Snowboards